101 Reasons to Stop Writing

May is International Slushpile Awareness Month

 
This Month's Demotivator:

The Reasons

April 23, 2008: Updated to Reason #17: It’s Allegorical.

101 Reasons to Stop Writing is a work in progress. Yes, there will be 101 reasons. No, they are not all here yet. No, they’re not in any specific order. Yes, I really do know what I’m doing.

This post will be updated as new Reasons are added. The list may not always be up to date, because I’m really lazy.

The Reasons

Reasons 18-101 to come. When the list is complete, if you haven’t stopped writing, then God help you.

 

23 Comments

  1. REASON #16: YOU’VE PURCHASED EVERY BOOK UNDER THE SUN ABOUT WRITING.

    No Plot? No Problem! Writing the Breakout Novel, and Self-Editing for Fiction Writers are just a few of hundreds of poorly written trash on how to write. Buying these books won’t make you a good writer, it will only make the authors and editors who put out this garbage wealthier, resulting in more crappy how-to-write books.

    The wannabees and the unfinished purchase these books by the dozen, hoping in their simple minds that by reading these books they will become the next Stephen King/J.K. Rowling/Nora Roberts.

    If you feel you have to rely on these books, stop writing, right now. Break all your pens, through all your typewriters and computers off the top floor of the Sears Tower. Do it, right now.

  2. REASON #17 BARBARA BAUER AND OTHER LITERARY SCAMMERS WILL GO OUT OF BUSINESS

    Barbara Bauer and a host of other scam artists posing as literary agents only make money if people write and then come to them with their manuscripts and pay them thousands of dollars to “edit” and “sell” their work to a “publisher.”

    If you people would stop writing, Babsi and her friends would have to find some other way to scam you gullible fools out of your money.

  3. Reason #18 Sean Lindsey would have to go on to other ventures.

    If everyone stopped writing, Sean Lindsey’s work here would be done. And then he would go on to tackle other issues such as, hicks procreating, people driving like morons, and people being idiotic in general.

  4. Kramer auto Pingback[...] But still. You get the idea.04.) Have a look at 101 Reasons to Stop Writing, especially the list of The Reasons and don’t be discouraged by it. And then get a feed for it because it’s so awesome.05.) Create your [...]

  5. links from TechnoratiNovember 30, 2007Tripped across the blog, 101 Reasons to Stop Writing. Actually, to-date there’s only 15 (Bet I could come up with the other 86, no prob), but you might want to check it outhere.

  6. links from Technoratiin the Tour de France. Or that the people who play instruments in the community band should stop if they have no future as professional musicians. There’s no shame in pursuing an activity just for fun. So although I agree with some of Lindsay’sreasons, he hasn’t convinced me to stop writing. What about you?

  7. [...] I stumbled across a blog called 101 Reasons To Stop Writing, and found it darkly amusing. The guy who writes the site, Sean Lindsey, states that his mission is [...]

  8. Kramer auto Pingback[...] 101 Reasons To Stop Writing - metairony reaches new levels Recently I stumbled across a blog called 101 Reasons To Stop Writing, and found it darkly amusing. The guy who writes the site, Sean Lindsey, states that his mission is [...]

  9. Jbone:

    #16 You like dose perttty werds:
    There is an ancient Chinese proverb, “Don’t use a $10 word when you could just fill the page with pictures of boobs or jokes about dead hookers.”

  10. links from Technorati101 Reasons to Stop Writing,

  11. links from Technoratiposvećen tisućama pisaca koji naporno rade u zasluženoj opskurnosti, ubijajući šume i uzdržavajući poštanski sustav, pitajući se što dovraga rade krivo.” Misija ovog blogera je zaustaviti ih, tako mu Bog pomogao! Osimrazloga, koji se redovito dopunjuju, tu su i dobro nam znani demotivirajući posteri, također orijentirani na prestanak pisanja. Počevši od prosinca 2006. najmanje jednom mjesečno je dodan po jedan novi demotivator za pisanje, pa se tako dotaklo

  12. Another link for your site:

    http://www.theonion.com/content/news/novelists_strike_fails_to_affect

    The Onion is satire admittedly, but sometimes truth is said in jest.

  13. The Nihilist:

    I really want to tell a story. Actually I don’t, but at this point I have to. It’ll most likely suck, but it doesn’t matter, because nothing matters. I’ve never read a fantasy novel I liked. They all suck, they’re all boring and none have any philosophical point behind them. They’re entertainment. Why do people love entertainment? Because they know their pathetic life is meaningless and they have no philosophy of their own. I hate writing almost as much as I hate reading, but yet I have to write something. I’d rather just commit suicide, but if I do, people’ll keep going on with the delusion that their life matters, when it doesn’t, so I’ll have to tell them. If I can get just one person to realize that they don’t matter, it’ll be worth dealing with the pain of living another day.

  14. [...] 6, 2008 101 Reasons to Stop Writing Posted in Entertainment [...]

  15. links from TechnoratiOther Stuff101 Reasons to Stop WritingStuff Nobody Likes

  16. Leroy:

    to be followed by 101 reasons to stop blogging, which is to be followed by 101 reasons to stop writing about not writing or blogging.

  17. The more I drink the bitter I right:

    …if you spent half your ‘writing’ time in school instead, you’d already be rich.
    …Getting famous by writing is like getting struck by lightning… on the moon.
    …you’ll spend 5 years writing and polishing your masterpiece until you F-ing hate it, just to have your friends say “I think I’ll write a book too, it sounds like fun.”
    …the bottom just fell out of the market for teen angst supernatural sci-fi cheerleader novels written by, for, and about females (just kidding, that market will never die. Too bad you write something else.)
    …apathy and alcoholism already run in the family, if you’re still writing you might as well pull the trigger
    …as soon as you get published, everybody else will too. you might as well just quit now.

  18. Kramer auto Pingback[...] Die kan ik ook opsommen ja, nou je het zegt maar het boek is een aanmoediging dus vandaar dat ik redenen opsom om het juist wel te doen.   Er is trouwens onlangs een boek uitgekomen dat heet: 101 reasons why you must write a book van Bob Burnham en Jeff McCallum.   Dit is overigens wel een grappige site: http://101reasonstostopwriting.com/the-reasons/

  19. Kramer auto Pingback[...] k1. You don’t buy books.4. You need to average 1,666.666 words per day.6. You don’t read what you’re writing.9. A better word here and there won’t make your writing suck less.11. You think Web 2.0 will change publishing.> http://101reasonstostopwriting.com/the-reasons____ [...]

  20. The Kitchen Magician:

    Reason 102: If you actually get any fans, they might force you into writing a sequel.

  21. Kramer auto Pingback[...] is posted with tongue firmly in cheek:101 Reasons to Stop WritingA good cold water bath of reality, but also really funny in places. My favorite reason: "You [...]

  22. Kramer auto Pingback[...] 28th, 2008 at 9:15 AM 101 Reasons Not to Write Not saying I agree with them, but it makes me giggle to see how far people will go to hate [...]

  23. Driving Miss Daisy:

    1) you think you have something great to say
    2) you think you are witty
    3) you adhere to formulas
    4) you seek to entertain the masses
    5) you call yourself a writer, as if it bestows some great dignity
    6) the only books you will read are novels
    7) you disagree with any of these other 6

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Nature not content with denying him the ability to think, has endowed him with the ability to write.
A. E. Housman
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