The phenomenal success of National Novel Writing Month (the annual word-accumulation festival where participants dilute the very concept of “writer” down to its most simplistic sense) has spawned a number of similar Internet-based community challenges, each with its own arbitrary goal and Pyrrhic sense of achievement. Let’s look at the most popular:
- NaProMo
National Procrastination Month is by far the largest community challenge project, with participants throughout the world (though most participants don’t even bother signing up). All you have to do is put off whatever you can put off, until at least the beginning of December. It’s also the oldest community challenge, predating NaNoWriMo by millennia. In fact, recorded history began when an ancient participant failed the challenge.
- NaMoGroMo
National Moustache Growing Month, otherwise known as Movember, challenges participants to let the mo gro. Women are encouraged to participate.
- NaNoMoMo
National No Moustache Month challenges the partners of NaMoGroMo participants to convince them to shave the mo.
- NaNaGaMo
National Navel Gazing Month invites participants to ponder, mull, ruminate or philosophise over an existential, theoretical or theological question, for the entire month. Extra points are given if the participant:
- Achieves nothing else in the month, except basic maintenance of their earthly vessel
- Is able to convince someone else to take care of the basic maintenance of their earthly vessel
- Frequently refers to the work of an earlier philosopher they’ve read
- Frequently refers to the work of an earlier philosopher they haven’t read
- Spends the month arguing the same point with the same person, to no conclusion
- Ends the month with exactly the same opinion
- NaPerMeMo
National Perpetuate a Meme Month invites participants to spread Internet memes, via blogs, emails, IMs, and particularly by describing them to others in person. Extra points are given if:
- The meme is more than a year old
- The participant doesn’t check other sources to see if the meme is pure bullshit
- The participant creates their own derivative example of an existing meme (such as their own Lolcatz photo, or Demotivator)
- NaTeYoFriYoPlaMo
National Tell Your Friends Your Plans Month is very popular amongst young people, especially college students. Participants are encouraged to tell their friends what they plan to achieve in in the short and long term. Extra points are awarded if the plans require extraordinary serendipity, divine intervention, or a suspension of the fundamental laws of the universe. Bonus points are awarded for returning participants if they haven’t achieved any of their plans from the previous year, and if they have all new plans this year.
- NaWhiAboDePubMo
National Whine About the Death of Publishing Month encourages participants to engage in lengthy discussions about how publishing is going to hell in a handbasket, and to make predictions about when the industry will collapse and society will abandon reading altogether. Now in its 400th year! Extra points are given if the participant:
- Uses the example of a bestselling book they think is bad as evidence that human civilisation is on the verge of self-destruction
- Uses their own failure as a writer as evidence that the publishing industry doesn’t know literature from a pile of manure wrapped in a tabloid
- Fails to see the irony in their refusal to buy any more books until the industry lifts its game
- InIOToLiAmAgMo
International It’s Ok To Like Americans Again Month launched only this year – November 4, to be exact – and already it has millions of signups worldwide. Participants are encouraged to openly discuss American politics without shaking their heads in disbelief, to see American movies, read American books and listen to American music without feeling ashamed, and to give American tourists the opportunity to prove themselves to be boorish assholes, instead of simply assuming it.
- NaNaNaNa-NaNa-NaMo
National Sing Along Without Knowing the Words Month – If you get through an entire song without anyone noticing, you win. You’ve been participating for years.
- NaIDoThiThaFuMo
National I Don’t Think That’s Funny Month challenges participants to write to so-called satirists and comedians, and explain exactly why their brand of humour is wrong, illogical, unacceptable, dangerous to children and generally devoid of value or place in civilised society. Extra points are given if the participant:
- demonstrates a complete misunderstanding of the concept of satire or comedy
- reacts as if the piece was intended seriously, and refuses to back down when they discover it wasn’t
- insists that the benchmark for publication should be whether the participant thinks it’s funny
- insists that satire is only clever or funny when it’s obvious or clearly labelled that it’s satire
- insists that anyone who finds humour in the piece must be just as mentally retarded as the author
- gives examples of other satirists or comedians they do understand in order to prove that the author isn’t funny
- attempts to give their own examples of what satire or comedy really is in order to prove that the author isn’t funny
- uses the word “sorry” sarcastically
- claims to support the right to free speech while insisting that the author must voluntarily relinquish this right
- threatens an organised boycott amongst the seven people they know
- threatens physical violence upon the author, should they happen to wander into the participant’s basement
- Complains anonymously, especially if doing so in a blog or forum the author will surely never read
Some of the challenges that didn’t make the Top Ten:
- NaBuSewMo — National Button Sewing Month
- NaCroSoMo — National Crossword Solving Month
- NaSoKniMo — National Sock Knitting Month
- NaRhiNoMo — National Rhinoceros Month (If you see a rhino, you win. Very popular in Africa.)
- NaQuiPoOnYoBloMo — National Quit Posting On Your Blog Month
- NaCompAboBroIncoMo – National Complain About Browser Incompatibilities Month
- NaFaSoLaTiDohMo — National Scales Singing Month
November is also NaCreYoOwNaNoJoMo — National Create Your Own NaNoWriMo Joke Month. Please feel free to post your own contributions in the comments below. Extra points if your entry is vaguely pronounceable.
![[Logo]](/images/101ReasonsLogo.png "101 Reasons to Stop Writing")
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NaAnoNoSeanWoWriMo: National Another Novel Sean Lindsay Won’t Write Month
It’s every month, and every novel. We all win.
NaIfICoWriNoIWoBDoThiMo (which I believe is also the formula for Sodium Bolognium)- National If I Could Write a Novel I Wouldn’t Be Doing This Month
If your NaNoWriMo project is a fantasy story, you would use the above as a character’s name.
InBoNaMoMo – International Boycott National Months Month – because after all, which “Nation” are we all talking about?
And
SkiSuMiNoHeMo – Skip Summer, Mimic Northern Hemisphere Month – for everyone that loves to nurture that pasty white physique!
NaNoWriNanoMo – National Novel Writers’ Nanomonth: Spend a fraction of a second fantasizing about the great novel you’ll write, the fame, fortune, etc. . . . and then let the cold, wet towel of reality snap you in the face.
NaSudokuMo – spend a month solving puzzles when you’re supposed to be working.
I love this post.
NaNiWriWiToMuTiOnTheHaMo — National Nincompoop Writers With Too Much Time On Their Hands Month
NaNoWarMo – National Novel Warming Month. Around February of next year, when the combination of an economic downturn and the realization of just how bad the stuff you wrote in November is causes you to use the manuscript of your NaNo book as fuel to heat your home.
HIHOHIHOITSOFFTOWKWEGO – Got debts to pay!
I’m currently losing NaRhiNoMo
NaSoCoLiMaMo: National Software Code-Like-Mad month, in which thousands of programmers around the country sit down at their keyboards and try to hammer out functioning software for life-critical applications in airplanes, hospitals, etc., using the same “Never look back, never edit, never revise” approach to productivity. Oh, wait, that’s the way a lot of software actually gets written. Never mind…
NaTrToWriYoOwAniComWiDetDrawSoICaNoWriMyNaNoWriMoNovMo-National Trying To Write My Own Anime Complete with Detailed Drawings So I Cannot Write My NaNoWriMo Novel Month! xD
NaNoWriRecoMo – National Novel Writing Recovery Month, when you spend all of December catching up on the sleep you missed during November…
NaNazzz
National Napping Month!
NaNoMo
National Normal Month: you avoid any type of crazy challege, and spend the month as normally as possile
NaGeekMo. I have no idea when this would be. Mainly as there is an unholy lot of different geek ‘holidays’.
NaNoSeqWriMo
National Novel Sequel Writing Month
NaNoLaCoSuMo
National Novel Copyright Lawsuit Month
I would just like to make sure you all know that NaNoWriMo linked this page to its homepage. We all find it very amusing. Your demotivators especially are hilarious. Thanks for the laugh!
-A NaNo participant
NaCynMo – National Cynics Month (you’re all winning!)
NaBraAbYoNoMo
National Brag About Your Novel Month – The month of December, where you get to tell everyone you know “I wrote a 50,000 word novel in November, what did you do?”
NaHypMo – National Hypocrite Month. Whine about things people do, then turn around and do it yourself! Not to be confused with National Hypnosis Month.
NaYoMaMo – National You Mama Month. Make a yo mama joke everyday. Bonus points if anything you say is a yo mama joke.
NaCreAnMaUpYoOwNaMo -
National create and make up your own national month
NaNoForMeBoComPoMo – National No Forum Message Board Comment Posting Month, which is part of NaNoForMeBoReMo – National No Forum Message Board Reading Month.
NaQuiPoOnYoBloMo — National Quit Posting On Your Blog Month
But wouldn’t this encourage writing???
NaNoReligMo
National Novel (as in “new”) Religion Month, wherein you learn everything you can about a religion you’ve always wanted to know more about.
[...] to verify soon but hope to add more before midnight! If you need a post NaNo laugh i hope you saw this thru the Procrastination Station…try to take his cynicism with a grain of salt because we know [...]
NoMo “No More” month of utter denial.
NaQuiPoOnYoBloMo … been doing that challenge for month & months now …
Did I win?
When does it end?
… anyone here ? …..
“When does it end?”
Did you not notice the “Mo” ?
Sean,
One more thing. Are you sure this is not all
connected to predestination? The calvinism of
it all is kinda making me feel a wee bit
arminianish-stish.
Sidney
Lynn — You win an internet and the Game. How would you like your internet?
Dan Starr — actually it’s “Revise in a month or two, when you can get some perspective on it after having been so close to it for a month that your glasses were fogging up”. But I’m paraphrasing.
Of course, with Sean Lindsay every month is SeLiWhiMo. (Sean Lindsay’s Whining Month, don’chaknow.)