101 Reasons to Stop Writing

Stop Writing, The Hard Way

• Ira Levin, whom Stephen King called “the Swiss watchmaker of suspense novels”, died November 12, aged 78. Two of his novels (Rosemary’s Baby and The Stepford Wives) and their film adaptations have left indelible imprints on our culture. Two of his plays, No Time for Sergeants and Deathtrap, were phenomenal Broadway hits. The film adaptation of his novel Sliver proved conclusively that the public’s fascination with Sharon Stone post-Basic Instinct did not extend to seeing her fully clothed.

Writer’s Strike: So Not Funny It Hurts

• Novelist and TV writer Doris Egan gives her perspective on the strike, with some insider detail that would be funnier if an entire generation of TV writers weren’t getting screwed.
• The Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America supports the Writers Guild of America. While I agree with the sentiments expressed, I’m troubled by this line: “Contrary to prevailing wisdom, the future is not here yet.” If that’s the prevailing wisdom, I’m glad the SFWA is around to explain the truth.
• The Horror Writers Association agrees with Writers Guild of America, but doesn’t mind plagiarizing from the SFWA (note similarities in the first paragraph).
• Independent producers want you to know they’re not the bad guy.
• Canadian TV writer Dennis McGrath adds perspective to the above, with more detail on the pressures put on technical staff affected by the strike.
• Damon Lindelof, co-creator of Lost, complains to the NY Times that he’s not getting his massive salary while the strike is on, then admits that the whole writers’ strike is his fault, for TiVo’ing an episode of The Daily Show.
• Javier Grillo-Marxuach relates that when you’ve spent nine years trying to bring a show to air, and you’re just now prepping a pilot, the writers’ strike is a moral pain in the ass.
• In case there was any doubt in your mind, Lee Goldberg points to a YouTube video showing the heads of Disney, Viacom, NBC, CBS and Fox Corp. discussing how much money they’re already making, and expect to make, from digital distribution. The writers from the Daily Show put this in perspective, which is what they’re (sometimes) paid to do.
• Lee also points out that you can’t trust Variety to report on the strike objectively.
• Marc Andreessen, cofounder of Netscape, ruminates on whether the strike is the signal to change the entire economic model of media production, into something that venture capitalists can understand. Rob Long follows the thought process to a (compatible?) conclusion. (Via Women of Mystery.)

Publishing Will Eat Itself

• Publisher’s Weekly reports that two major (and totally separate) New York book fairs are to be held on the same day. No, it’s not an accident, and yes, someone’s being an ass about it.
• Judith Regan, deposed Queen of Publishing, is suing Rupert Murdoch, the billionaire tyrant, for defamation. She’s asking for $100 million in damages, the broadcast rights to season 7 of The Simpsons, and 50% of Bill O’Reilly’s ties. The Smoking Gun has the lawsuit, if you like your fiction dry and lawyery.

News to Know, to Keep Up with the Conversation

• Year’s not over, yet Amazon.com is calling the Best Books of 2007. You’re not on it.
• The 2007 National Book Award winners. You’re not on it.
• As part of their campaign to drive their business into the ground, Borders are placing televisions in their stores to give their last few customers yet another thing to do in their stores, other than buying a book.
• When Banned Books Week rolls around again, take a moment out from protesting the piffling arguments about whether such-and-such a book can be read in such-and-such a school, and remember what banning a book really means.

From the Blogosphere

• Nathan Bransford wonders aloud if the current boom in Young Adult novels means that more young adults are buying Young Adult books, or if more adults are buying Young Adult books while trying to figure out how to write a Young Adult book.
• JA Konrath is on speed (and on crack, if you ask me).
• StupidFilter is a project to build software that can detect and filter “rampant stupidity in written English”, in an attempt to reduce the escalating roar of idiocy drowning out meaningful conversation on the Internet. Designed to catch “formal stupidity”, of the “ur stoopid” variety, it unfortunately won’t be able to discern the clear expression of stupid ideas or opinions, but it may prove useful for literary agents in screening out the very worst of the electronic slushpile. The designers’ reassuring arrogance that they can determine, on a 1-5 scale, the relative worthlessness of your writing is worth a read in itself. (Via Esoteric Science Resource Center.)
• Joshua Henkin, guest blogging at The Elegant Variation, does a terrible job of explaining why he thinks “Show, Don’t Tell” is terrible advice. I think he’s right, but for the wrong reasons.
• He does better when he addresses the inevitable “How do you write?” book tour question:
  

  Many writers find this question annoying, probably because they believe that implicit in the question is the belief that anyone could compose a great novel if only they possessed the right pen.

• And finishes with paraphrased advice from John Cheever, to never use three words in a row that he’d seen used in a row before. That’s why he had to paraphrase it.

Quotes Taken Out of Context

• Bella Stander: “If I can crush your writing dreams and have you crawling out of here on your bellies, my work will be done.”

Stuff I Really Shouldn’t Tell You

• Victoria Strauss has the best roundup of the myths of self-publishing I’ve read. She’s not anti-selfpub, just advocating caution. If you are considering self-publishing, and you don’t read this article, someone’s going to royally screw you, and it might even be you.

Stop Writing if You Need This Advice

• So I was, like, reading this blog the other day, and um — it was about this guy, I think this name was Nathan or something, and he’s like totally cute, in an ex-boy band kind of way, and he was all like “Don’t write lame ‘chatty’ dialogue in first person“, I was like, ohmigod, what’s up with that? I mean, who is the first person anyway? He never said.
• The Rejecter doesn’t quite say that sending a response checklist postcard instead of an SASE is stupid, but she does say it’s not funny.
• Nathan Bransford spoils a great mystery about querying — if you say you have a really awesome twist ending, you have to know what it is.
• Buried in the Slushpile says that if your manuscript comes back from an editor with lots of little squiggles on it, it’s because they want you to make changes. It doesn’t mean it was edited by a six-year old.
• Joshua Henkin at The Elegant Variation say that using present tense won’t hide the fact that nothing actually happens in your story.
• What lesson can be learned from Tess Gerritsen’s twenty years of experience as a published writer? Be patient, or be something else.
• Lynn Veihl of Paperback Writer reveals Ten Things That May Indicate You’re Writing a McNovel. My favourite:
  

  8. Literary McMasterpiece: Your novel has a meaningless title, is deeply depressing, ends badly, uses the word chiaroscuro more than three times and is really understood, like your pain, by only you.

  What’s a McNovel, you ask? Jodi Picoult describes it as “[a book] you’ve forgotten by the time you turn the last page”. A better example can be found in your Recent Documents list.