101 Reasons to Stop Writing

Trying to get back on schedule. Really.

Old Prose from Old Pros

• Elmore Leonard is once again dipping a bucket into the wannabe well, republishing Elmore Leonard’s Ten Rules of Writing, which at 96 pages (and US$15) is a lot longer (and dearer) than it sounds like it should be. An otherwise dreary interview in US News and World Report (conducted by a bored journo who clearly hasn’t read more than Leonard’s presskit) does yield some gems:
  • "There’s seldom a book on the [NYT bestseller] list I have any kind of urge to read."
  • "Most books are not very good. [...] Most writers are pretty boring."
  • "I began to read Book-of-the-Month Club selections, and all of these books, they just had way too many words in them."
  • "Well, if you’re dying to write, why aren’t you writing? If you’re not writing, you’re not dying to do it enough."

  I’ve just read that interview more times than the fsckin’ interviewer.

News to Know, to Keep Up with the Conversation

• Publishing Trends has the results of a survey of publishing professionals. Some key points:
  • "Instability of the Market" ranks just behind "Compensation" as the worst aspects of the industry.
  • Almost a third of respondents, including almost half of editors, are or aspire to be writers.
  • 40% read blogs — including this one, but not yours.
  • 63% say the best part of their job is the "intellectual challenge".

  They missed some essential questions I’d like to see asked in the next survey:

  • Which book/author do you wish your company had never published?
  • If the publishing industry operated on rational principles, how many of your colleagues would be out of a job?
  • Have you ever asked a colleague whether a "blacklist" of bad writers existed, or proposed its development?
  • What proportion your daily duties could be adequately performed by a monkey?
  • How long do you think it will be before developments in artificial intelligence can replace the human writer?
  • Do you participate in International Slushpile Bonfire Day? If not, do you wish you could?

  (Via Jonathan Lyons.)

From the Blogosphere

• Jobbing Scriptwriter discovers that no plot outline survives contact with the first draft.
• See if you can spot your own work in More World’s Worst Book Proposals, by Angela Hoy at Writer’s Weekly.

Problems You Will Never Have

• Jonathan Lyons admits that the boys do line up to date the pretty girls.
• Jessica Faust explains that being good at your job doesn’t matter as much as being married to Jerry Seinfeld.

Quotes Taken Out of Context

• Elmore Leonard: "Got tired of writing fiction." (Yes, it’s the same link as above.)
• JA Konrath: "Writers suck."

Stop Writing if You Need This Advice

• Janet Reid lists seven things that can kill your query, that crossed her desk that day. A highlight: "I think my book will sell a million copies in hard cover."
• Janet also explains, rather pointedly, what should and shouldn’t be on your cover letter/title page/manuscript header. Fscked if I’m going to link to it, though. Your continued failure amuses me.
• Nick Mamatas feels the need to tell you: Don’t be boring on purpose. When was the last time a friend recommended a story by saying "It really captures the boredom of everyday life. The boringness was just so real. It’s a tangible, visceral boredom, like listening to a narcoleptic comparing his hobbies of watching paint dry versus watching grass grow, in real time. Actually, that’s the last two thirds of the story."
• Don’t Reply to a Rejection, Part XI: "It is my good fortunate to have not enjoyed the acceptance of my manuscript by your firm."