I think the only way to do this right will be to choose writing samples at random from the Interweb — some poor sap who’s actually hoping for constructive criticism.

(A quick example. Back in the early days of the Web, I was a regular at a now-sadly-defunct site called “The Dysfunctional Family Circus”, which took Bil Keane’s “Family Circus” comic strips and let people make up new captions. Many of those captions were brilliant, but some were so dopy that the Webmaster set up the “Red Zone” and listed those as an example of what not to submit. By the time the feature syndicate that distributed “The Family Circus” issued its cease-and-desist letter to the DFC Webmaster, he was already noting that you had morons who were deliberately submitting particularly obnoxious and dumb captions, because they had more of a chance of being listed than the ones they thought were funny.)

Solicit samples. And promise to post the most mock-worthy online as new reasons not to write. People FLOCK to that shit. Look at Miss Snark! She was downright nasty to people, and she had so many submissions she didn’t know what to do with ‘em all.

And you’re lucky. You have a ready-made group of helpers who’d help you sift through the crap. And then you can have a new reason:

“If you write like THIS guy, quit writing.”