101 Reasons to Stop Writing

(10% deducted for late submission.)

One of the absurdities of this accumulation of human opinion we absurdly call the blogosphere is the seeming paradoxes of time zone differential. For example, I (try to) compile and post my Weekend Updates in the final dying hours of Sunday, convinced that there’s just not enough “weekend” left to miss anything. But this part of the world gets Monday delivered by express courier while the rest of the world is still reading their Sunday paper. So occasionally, someone in one of those time-challenged countries posts interesting commentary in what they think is still Sunday.

Last Sunday Monday, Tess Gerritsen discussed the pressure on crime writers to “play fair” with readers who expect every crime novel to be an Agatha Christie style mystery. Folks, if you wonder why there is so much crap on bookstore shelves, you might want to point the finger at readers who want to read the same damn book over and over.

Now, on with things posted during the week.

Grumpy Old Bookman discusses a new model for writing, which is really a model for publishing (since there’s no change in the approach to writing), and really isn’t new, sounding suspiciously not that different from what the “mid-list” model used to be. Really, I’m all for a new approach to publishing, but not one that involves me wasting my cash on a book that has never been read by anyone else. Grumpy did address this problem, in the middle of another post.

Lori Perkins, my new favourite blogging agent, posted a wake-up call to self-important asshole writers (my words, not hers) who think it’s the agent’s fault if their book doesn’t sell. She also points out that there are only seven major publishers.

The issue of fan fiction, and its distinction from authorised media tie-in fiction, has exploded on the blog of (media tie-in writer) Lee Goldberg, in defending his position against the bad writing quoting of a fanfic writer (broken link to offending article). The pissing contest continues in the comments, as said fanfic writer claims that misrepresenting Goldberg’s opinion is just as acceptable as writing fanfiction at all. Oops, now I’ve misrepresented her. Doesn’t that tickle? Miss Snark weighs in the voice of Reason, and brother Tod Goldberg calls people fucktards again, which is always worth reading.

Agent Nathan Bransford points out an interesting hole in the market for “crossover” novels (appealing to Harry Potter fans both children and adults), which should make people trying to write crossover novels pause writing, for a moment at least. He also discusses the secret war between Britain and America to control Europe.

If you use a query/submission service like Writer’s Relief, or have ever even remotely considered it, just fscking stop writing, now. Ditto if you’d consider paying $125 to enter a writing contest.

Agent Kristin says it only takes two to five pages to decide your manuscript sucks. Probably because you gave up revising after page one.

Author Lynn Veihl has advice for editors on not offending authors. Yes, they really are laughing at you.

Want to get published? Just do something freakishly insane (and get media coverage). Don’t watch someone else do it and think you can get the book deal.

JA Konrath discusses why people buy books, which in his amiably serious way reflects my point about how you don’t understand why people buy books.

Does anyone read these weekend updates?