101 Reasons to Stop Writing

(Yes, a Weekend Update on a Monday. Have you met my lawyer?)

101 Reasons endeavours to find you valuable information on just how ridiculous you look, wasting your time bashing out your half-million-word, never-before-spellchecked ostrich of a novel, which would never see the inside of a Barnes & Noble even if J.K.Rowling hand wrote a copyright waiver.

Slush Pile Diva makes an auspicious blogging debut with Dude. Read the Guidelines. If you think this is useful advice, stop writing. If you can’t understand how someone with word processing skills could be so stupid, you might have a chance.

Robert McCrum in the Observer examines plagiarism, and explains the subtle difference between homage and “fifty percent of all royalties, in perpetuity.”

Literary agent Michael Bourret suggests that you keep your day job. And he’s talking to the 95% of published authors who make little more than beer money. If ever there was someone to burst your bubble about the millions you think you’ll make, it’s the guy who shaves 15% off the cheques. Fifteen percent of fsck all is …

Oh, and author J.A. Konrath finally tells it like it is, for his legions of minions, and you. Just ignore the last two lines.